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Lori and Jeanne!!! You're awesome! I'm still hanging in there! Just wanting you all to know...that I think you two are awesome. And LORI...I LOVE YOUR NEW PHOTOS!!! You look AMAZING!!! |
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| Re: Lori and Jeanne!!! You're awesome! I'm still hanging in there! |  Reply |
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7/28/10 | New Lifestyle | |||||
| You go woman! It is worth it...go get that 40 more. I just had some physical therapy this week for my accident back in April. Due to the insurance, doctors...etc...took some time to get to. She basically stated I have stinkin spasms and I am out of alignment. She wants me to lessen my running long distance (I haven't asked what is short yet)...but okayed me to rollerblade which is thankful...and plan to continue to do p90x...just modifying as I am. I am still here, just continuing to reflect...I think I am in a major transition right now...so working my little brain thru the nooks and crannies...going to go off the grid real soon...taking a much needed vacation and leaving all electronics to the side...so when there are no posts from the 4th to the 10th....no worries I will be back, just going to enjoy the boys and the surf... I get you with the scales...I am there...and I have come to terms now that I am doing more strength bearing exercise that lean muscle changes things, which is definitely a different phase to this entire process for those who really embrace exercise as a vital component to the maintenance piece...this is the first time in my journey I am really doing strength bearing exercises but I know overall this is the right time to be doing that for the upcoming decade of age... take care...I am going to post in a few days...taking some steps back to move forward... "NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS BEING THIN FEELS" Personal Motivation / Goal: ...NO ALCOHOL...it was Week 178 and beyond, have to add 52 more weeks at least....so Week 230 and beyond to 1001 Starting weight: 311 lbs Current weight: 187 lbs Goal weight: 190 lbs |
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| > Re: Re: Lori and Jeanne!!! You're awesome! I'm still hanging in there! | Reply |
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7/30/10 | New Lifestyle | |||||
| Lori, I know that YOU know what I mean when we talk about muscle and the scales. You know what?? All my life, I look at a height/weight chart and determine, "If I am 5'8", I need to weigh 140-160 pounds or else I am unhealthy and overweight." I am working to get to that 160. I will work my BUTT OFF to get to that 160. I am going to do everything I can to stay there and to not have to take off this 10-15 pounds again. But honestly...I am 39 years old and this December I turn 40. I must be honest with myself. THERE IS NO COOKIE CUTTER WEIGHT FOR EVERY WOMAN. No matter what the stupid charts say!!! I look at myself in the mirror just 4 weeks into keeping a tight hold on my caloric intake (deficit for now) and doing some MAJOR functional training. I SEE A HUGE DIFFERENCE IN THE MIRROR. The scales have moved slightly, but that change does not even come CLOSE to comparing the way my clothes are fitting me better, and the fact that I LOOK smaller...already!!! I know that the closer a person is to goal weight, the harder it is to make those scales move...but I am TRYING MY HARDEST to accept the fact that I may NEVER get to 155 o 160 and stay there permanently. I WANT TO. But God help me, there are a LOT of factors that will have to come into play to keep me there. That means intense workouts AT LEAST 5 days per week, functional and strength training INCLUDED...never excluded....AND A LIFE-LONG commitment to a REGIMENTED caloric intake...and I mean a CONSISTENT regimented commitment. All of that is ONE BIG JOB. If I slack one bit, it's back down that slippery slope. You know what I mean. But all that to say this: there is no cookie cutter weight chart for every woman's height and weight. God gave each one of us a frame, an INDIVIDUAL frame that holds fat in certain places....some women more so in some places than others. And flat out...there is NOTHING we can do about that. **********I MUST begin to come to some sort of acceptance of myself, instead of constantly trying to make myself fit into this "cookie cutter" chart.************* Think about it....we have been trained!!! Our eyes have been trained!!!! Example: The Miss America Pageant. Out on the stage walks a line of young women who have different faces, hair color, etc., but most of them are of the SAME HEIGHT AND WEIGHT!!! It's like they all must fit into this "cookie cutter" scheme of things. And I am knocking my head up against a wall if I don't seem to fit into that. Well, ENOUGH !!! And as soon as I say ENOUGH, I will still fight with myself to stop thinking this way. UGH. All this is just venting. Thanks for reading. Do you deal with this too?? Or have you come to a confident level of acceptance of your body and overall health?? Sometimes I wonder if I will EVER be satisfied with my accomplishments and look at myself in the mirror and say, "You know what Suzanne?? You look great. And you are OK at where you are at." I wonder. ~~Suzanne~~ Starting weight: 258 lbs Current weight: 157.2 lbs Goal weight: 160 lbs |
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| >> Suzanne - WOW! SO dealing with it.. | Reply |
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7/30/10 | New Lifestyle | |||||
| This vent is my vent...and we walk a path that is so dang similar it can be unnerving. I actually have accepted now I am really not going to get to 179-180 which is my chart weight. If I do....it is what you have just stated such exercise days, and CALORIE regimented life, I am going to be so damn miserable. In the overall scheme of our journey, a 5 lb. difference now is not as deep to me...Happiness is...and we both know how healthy we are... If one more person tells me how good I look, and I just need to own it...I agree with you there is a HUGE difference with me in clothing that is not indicated on scale...I almost wish I could get the daily scale weighing away from my ritual but it is a wonderful barometer...I think after I do my tweak diet again in August....I am going to make a concerted effort to just go back to once a week weighing and if for some reason I get into my red zone...then I will jump back into daily... I also am contemplating the stomach hang stuff...I am giving myself one more year of toning and might even do pilates (and I have still yet to do a trainer) to see if I get do it more naturally...but I bet you I have 5 lbs. of loose skin from the obesity and son now...so I have to come to terms with some of my weight is that.. I am getting to a confident level of acceptance and health, that is what I feel I am working on now in this what I want to say is final phase. I think we both have never been at a place where it is OK...and this is where I need to come to terms now...at the age of 37 going on 38...(just a year+ behind you).. We just need to continue the journey...for both of us I see the forties as FUN! "NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS BEING THIN FEELS" Personal Motivation / Goal: ...NO ALCOHOL...it was Week 178 and beyond, have to add 52 more weeks at least....so Week 230 and beyond to 1001 Starting weight: 311 lbs Current weight: 187 lbs Goal weight: 190 lbs |
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| >>> Re: Suzanne - WOW! SO dealing with it.. | Reply |
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8/1/10 | New Lifestyle | |||||
| Hey Lori, Gees Louise!!!! More of the same. It feels good to know that I am not the only woman out there dealing with this stuff. So much more I could say, but it would just be re-stating what I have already stated. We just have to be the BEST we can be (health-wise, weight-wise, and fitness-wise) and then be happy with that result...instead of CONSTANTLY trying to fit into that "weight chart." Dang it!!! Here is my opinion on abdominoplasty surgery (tummy tuck). I too thought that once I had the surgery, I would literally lose 5 POUNDS OF SKIN and that number would reflect on the scales. NOT. NOT. NOT. Ok...I'm not saying the surgeon didn't remove 5 pounds of skin...of course he did. What I am saying is that after surgery, you can't work out, you retain a ton of fluids, you deal with recovery, you are bloated beyond description, you have to wear clothes with elastic...and you need to know...DURING ALL THAT TIME...THE SCALES ARE AT LEAST 10-15 POUNDS HEAVIER because of all that recovery, etc. I just described. When it's all said and done....and you finally get back to living life and lifting weights (6 months is the usual time period to wait) and doing full impact cardio again...the scales will not reflect a 5 pound loss....and perhaps the scales might even be heavier than they were before you had the surgery!!! But the difference will be that YOU WILL LOOK AMAZING AND YOUR CLOTHES WILL FIT YOU LIKE THEY NEVER DID BEFORE....AND YOU WILL FEEL LIKE A NEW WOMAN!!! So I'm telling you...for me...the number on the scale didn't change one bit, but my overall appearance changed dramatically. At least to me it changed dramatically.... Most people if not ALL people...just don't see any difference....but of course my closest friends can tell the difference! :) It's worth it to have the surgery. I would much rather have my scar (by the way it's fading fast) than have all that skin. I say good riddance!!! It's cool to have you Lori!!! Thank you for your support girl!!! :) ~~Suzanne~~ Starting weight: 258 lbs Current weight: 157.2 lbs Goal weight: 160 lbs |
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| >>>> Re: Re: Suzanne - WOW! SO dealing with it.. | Reply |
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8/1/10 | New Lifestyle | |||||
| I just re-read what you and I wrote and I forgot something else... I relate to you saying..."If one more person tells me I look great..." Example scenario: I am feeling guilty because I feel like I'm carrying around an extra 5 pounds, just analyzed myself to death in the mirror, picked myself apart mentally, and feeling the affects of it...then along comes someone and tells me "wow...you look really skinny...you look so pretty" (or something) Then my mind does a "180" and all of a sudden I don't see the fat anymore and I start to second guess whether I need to cut back on calories, etc. UGH!!! THIS IS MADNESS!!! These are the scenarios that life-long thin people don't deal with....or people that don't have issues with food. Sometimes I ask God ..."How long am I going to have to deal with this madness??" I know the answer.... "The rest of my life." That's just the way it is. I must accept this. For me...I am in a sort of "remission" from food addiction. I am managing my addiction. And the result is that I am staying in shape and engaging in a TON of self control...otherwise...I would be doing the opposite. I have this "idea" of what I look like some days...and many days its the image of myself as huge!! Here's another scenario. I was telling one of my students the other day that I wanted to get some of those really pretty not-so-shapely long dresses for the summer. I had asked a girl where she had found the particular dress she was wearing. She told me and then I told her that I couldn't wear it unless I wore with it a little sweater jacket (too much skin...if you ask me). So right then, she said, "Oh like this one??...Here you try it on." Right away I told her, "Oh my goodness!!! That would never fit me!!!" She is this tiny little gal. And she told me, "Are you kidding?? Of course it would fit you!!! You're skinny Mrs. Shirley!!" ...So there you have it. Others don't see us as "fat" or "overweight" or "there's a lady who needs to lose 10 pounds." But in OUR heads we are playing those tapes OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Not good enough, not low enough on the scales, still need to lose 10 pounds, 15 pounds, that one pair of jeans doesn't fit me like it did last year or 2 years ago, etc." And those thoughts just PLAGUE me ALL THE TIME. ALL-THE-TIME. Is this the same with you?? Or am I the only crazy one??? :) So glad you're reading these posts!!! At least I know somebody is out there having the same issues!!!! :) ~~Suzanne~~ Starting weight: 258 lbs Current weight: 157.2 lbs Goal weight: 160 lbs |
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| Re: Lori and Jeanne!!! You're awesome! I'm still hanging in there! | Reply |
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8/2/10 | New Lifestyle | |||||
| Suzanne, it is so good to hear from you. I'm in a no-dieting stage right now, and don't check in here as I used to. I keep up with Lori on Facebook and will continue to do that as long as she'll have me. I'm just trying not to gain and am doing pretty well with that, although I'm maintaining at too high a weight. In my head I haven't given up getting close to goal one day. I'm only about 40 pounds away. That's got to be easier than 100. I admire you so much and always have. It is far better to be fighting this battle from where you are now. Self-acceptance is great. I send you love and support for wherever you want to be. Just glad you're still here. Jeanne xoxoxo I AM STRONG! I CAN DO THIS! I AM WORTH THE EFFORT! Borrowing from Helen: IF NOT NOW, WHEN!!! Personal Motivation / Goal: First goal: Back to 180 Second goal: 172 (my lowest to date) Final Goal: 160 Starting weight: 241 lbs Current weight: 195.5 lbs Goal weight: 160 lbs |
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